there will be a fish

Dear Brain,

What the fuck. I gave you a really awesome massage and an early bedtime to catch up on missed sleep, and you gave me back 10 hours of stress-dreams and seriously epic heart-pounding zombie apocalypse nightmares. Not cool.

No love,
Me

I'm not sure I've EVER detested a soccer player as much as I dislike Uruguay's Suárez right now.

[WARNING: WORLD CUP SPOILERS!]

For those of you who weren't watching the Ghana-Uruguay match, they went into overtime with a 1-1 tie. (I was nominally rooting for Ghana – for reasons like: my sister worked abroad there; good friend in school from there; they beat the US in a good game; they're the only African team left; I like their passing game; I don't know a thing about the Uruguay team – but I wasn't super biased.) In the last minutes, Ghana had an awesome attempt on goal, and the ball was headed straight into the net, when the aforementioned Mr. Fucktard knocked it away with his hand while standing on the goal line, in a way that couldn't have been anything but deliberate (i.e., it's one thing if the ball whacks into your arm while hanging loosely at your side; it's another when it's above your head and out to the side and it saves your team's ass).

Suárez got a red card and was kicked off the field, and Ghana got a PK, but their shot bounced off the crossbar and the score remained a tie. So, after overtime, it went to penalty kicks. Uruguay won by a hair, and was ecstatic.

Honestly, though, if I were Uruguay, I'd be fucking ashamed to be advancing to the World Cup semifinals on the basis of a cheap, shitty-ass, unsporting move like Suárez's handball. They sure as hell didn't make it on the basis of outplaying them. Ghana was seriously robbed, and I am fucking pissed off on their behalf. I normally don't get all that emotionally involved in sports, even soccer, which I love. But this is just not right.

The Netherlands better kick Uruguay's ass in the semis. And I'm talking crushing them, damn it. I want vengeance!